C
CraigEdwards1
The forums are full of people pointing out that Cortana is no longer capable of performing any tasks whatsoever (other than stating "I can't help you with that' and, bizarrely, searching bing as though it thinks that "book an appointment for 2pm" means "please search the internet for the phrase 'book an appointment for 2pm'".
In every case, the Microsoft staff are responding with a non-sequitur about how Cortana is now a productivity assistant, rather than a personal assistant. This is hilarious, because nobody in any of these threads is asking about personal assistant tasks (none of the questions are about launching music apps and the like). They are all asking about why Cortana can't perform the most basic PRODUCTIVITY assistant tasks, ie why:
- Cortana can't book an appointment anymore;
- Cortana can't check what I have on today anymore;
- Cortana no longer knows what a list is, and can't, eg 'add status report to my list'
In every case, Cortana responds with "I can't help you with that", or by executing a bing internet search for that phrase.
Even more hilarious is that Microsoft keep directing us to the same page that is supposed to identify what they mean by 'productivity assistant':
Cortana in the upcoming Windows 10 release: focused on your productivity with enhanced security and privacy | Windows Experience Blog
If you read that page, it claims that Cortana's new role is to do THE EXACT TASKS THAT WE ARE ASKING ABOUT - i.e. that its new role is to be able to book appointments, check your calendar, and add things to your 'to do list'. (sort of like if they were going back to what Cortana was able to do in its first week of implementation many years ago - booking appointments and checking your calendar were the very FIRST things that Cortana was able to do back then, so I don't see what's new about it).
But my question is this: if Cortana is only supposed to perform productivity tasks now, and no longer performs any others, THEN:
`1. WHY CAN'T CORTANA PERFORM ANY PRODUCTIVITY TASKS?
2. WHY CAN'T CORTANA DO ANY OF THE TASKS THAT ARE REFERRED TO IN THE ABOVE LINK (the one the Microsoft staff keep on posting as the guide to what Cortana does now).
.
Or, most importantly, can somebody amongst the Microsoft staff please identify ONE thing - just one - that Cortana CAN do. I'm asking this, because it seems that the only way you will stop deflecting our questions is by tying you down to a clear statement that there is a task that exists that Cortana is supposed to be able to do. (other than conducting an internet search - which, surely, should fall under the banner of "personal assistant" anyway).
For example, the following paragraph is a direct 'copy and paste' from the article that you guys keep on referring us to, in which it gives 3 examples of tasks that Cortana is supposed to be able to do now, which reflect its new direction (again, I note that they also happen to be the very first things that Cortana could do when it arrived years ago, and aren't new at all):
“What’s next on my calendar?”
“Remind me to send the ‘weekly report’ every Friday at 2pm.”
“Add ‘status report’ to my task list.”
For each of these (and for every other task referred to in that article), Cortana responds with "I cannot help you with that'.
I have tried this on 4 different home devices, 2 university lab computers, 2 university library computers, 1 computer at my local library, and 3 different work computers at my office. This included logging in using 6 different Microsoft accounts (my personal one, my corporate one with Azure admin/owner access, my post-grad student uni account, my uni lecturer/staff account, my wife's personal account and my wife's business account?
Each of them, for each of the promised 'productivity tasks' results in "I cannot help you with that", or (occasionally) by executing a bing search.
Clearly, Cortana no longer knows what a calendar, to do list, or an appointment is. Instead of making it into a productivity app, you have removed all of its productivtiy functions, leaving only an internet search bar and a chatbot which can only say "I cannot help you with that".
Couldn't you at o renamed it Hal, or added the words "I'm sorry Dave but" to that error message? Has nobody in your office watched A Space Odyssey?
But seriously, users are asking you over and over again about Cortana no longer performing productivity tasks. These are the SAME tasks that Microsoft claims are Cortana's new focus. They are the EXACT SAME tasks that are given as examples of what Cortana is supposed to be able to do right NOW, in the article that YOU keep linking to.
I know you guys aren't responsible for this mess, and there's nothing wrong with just telling us: "yes, the app is broken at the moment. We're looking into it, but we don't have any ETA yet as to when Cortana's new (well, let's be honest, very old) productivity functions promised in the article - like checking your calendar and making bookings - will be available once more".
But DON'T insult us by pretending that this is anything to do with the switch to productivity tasks, when we are asking you about those very same productivty tasks. And don't humiliate yourself by linking to websites that promise the EXACT PRODUCTIVITY FUNCTIONS THAT WE ARE TELLING YOU AREN'T WORKING - you are literally saying "Of course Cortana can't do X. That's because it is no longer supposed to be doing Z, it is now here to do X. It can do X now, and that's why it can't do X'.
If Cortana can't make bookings, check my calendar, or do any of the other productivity assistant tasks referred to in the article you keep linking to, can you please identify ONE tasks it IS able to do? That way, when we get back to you with a screenshot of it being incapable of that tasks too, maybe we'll get an honest "yeah, we're working on it", instead of having you humiliate yourselves by treating us like fools.
Oh, btw yes, I've already tried reinstalling windows - not on all 6 accounts and 12 computers referred to above, obviously, but I had to reinstall on my work devices for a different reason, and so I've checked that as well.
Widows version: 2004 (May update - some devices personal, some corporate, some education version)
Cortana version: 2.2007.9736.0
All permissions granted (both for Cortana and in privacy settings )
Region: Australia (where Cortana currently has an average review rating of 1 star on the Microsoft store - I suspect you've already passed the point of no recovery in this part of the world, as things seem to be even worse in the rest of south-east Asia than it is here (probably because, other than Singapore, we're the one corner of the SE Asia /ASEAN block that has English as the main language - and Americans are bizarrely ignorant of Singapore for reasons I've never understood). But your high-ups should at least pay attention to it as a sign of where things are likely to go everywhere, if you don't at least acknowledge that there's a problem that needs fixing.
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In every case, the Microsoft staff are responding with a non-sequitur about how Cortana is now a productivity assistant, rather than a personal assistant. This is hilarious, because nobody in any of these threads is asking about personal assistant tasks (none of the questions are about launching music apps and the like). They are all asking about why Cortana can't perform the most basic PRODUCTIVITY assistant tasks, ie why:
- Cortana can't book an appointment anymore;
- Cortana can't check what I have on today anymore;
- Cortana no longer knows what a list is, and can't, eg 'add status report to my list'
In every case, Cortana responds with "I can't help you with that", or by executing a bing internet search for that phrase.
Even more hilarious is that Microsoft keep directing us to the same page that is supposed to identify what they mean by 'productivity assistant':
Cortana in the upcoming Windows 10 release: focused on your productivity with enhanced security and privacy | Windows Experience Blog
If you read that page, it claims that Cortana's new role is to do THE EXACT TASKS THAT WE ARE ASKING ABOUT - i.e. that its new role is to be able to book appointments, check your calendar, and add things to your 'to do list'. (sort of like if they were going back to what Cortana was able to do in its first week of implementation many years ago - booking appointments and checking your calendar were the very FIRST things that Cortana was able to do back then, so I don't see what's new about it).
But my question is this: if Cortana is only supposed to perform productivity tasks now, and no longer performs any others, THEN:
`1. WHY CAN'T CORTANA PERFORM ANY PRODUCTIVITY TASKS?
2. WHY CAN'T CORTANA DO ANY OF THE TASKS THAT ARE REFERRED TO IN THE ABOVE LINK (the one the Microsoft staff keep on posting as the guide to what Cortana does now).
.
Or, most importantly, can somebody amongst the Microsoft staff please identify ONE thing - just one - that Cortana CAN do. I'm asking this, because it seems that the only way you will stop deflecting our questions is by tying you down to a clear statement that there is a task that exists that Cortana is supposed to be able to do. (other than conducting an internet search - which, surely, should fall under the banner of "personal assistant" anyway).
For example, the following paragraph is a direct 'copy and paste' from the article that you guys keep on referring us to, in which it gives 3 examples of tasks that Cortana is supposed to be able to do now, which reflect its new direction (again, I note that they also happen to be the very first things that Cortana could do when it arrived years ago, and aren't new at all):
“What’s next on my calendar?”
“Remind me to send the ‘weekly report’ every Friday at 2pm.”
“Add ‘status report’ to my task list.”
For each of these (and for every other task referred to in that article), Cortana responds with "I cannot help you with that'.
I have tried this on 4 different home devices, 2 university lab computers, 2 university library computers, 1 computer at my local library, and 3 different work computers at my office. This included logging in using 6 different Microsoft accounts (my personal one, my corporate one with Azure admin/owner access, my post-grad student uni account, my uni lecturer/staff account, my wife's personal account and my wife's business account?
Each of them, for each of the promised 'productivity tasks' results in "I cannot help you with that", or (occasionally) by executing a bing search.
Clearly, Cortana no longer knows what a calendar, to do list, or an appointment is. Instead of making it into a productivity app, you have removed all of its productivtiy functions, leaving only an internet search bar and a chatbot which can only say "I cannot help you with that".
Couldn't you at o renamed it Hal, or added the words "I'm sorry Dave but" to that error message? Has nobody in your office watched A Space Odyssey?
But seriously, users are asking you over and over again about Cortana no longer performing productivity tasks. These are the SAME tasks that Microsoft claims are Cortana's new focus. They are the EXACT SAME tasks that are given as examples of what Cortana is supposed to be able to do right NOW, in the article that YOU keep linking to.
I know you guys aren't responsible for this mess, and there's nothing wrong with just telling us: "yes, the app is broken at the moment. We're looking into it, but we don't have any ETA yet as to when Cortana's new (well, let's be honest, very old) productivity functions promised in the article - like checking your calendar and making bookings - will be available once more".
But DON'T insult us by pretending that this is anything to do with the switch to productivity tasks, when we are asking you about those very same productivty tasks. And don't humiliate yourself by linking to websites that promise the EXACT PRODUCTIVITY FUNCTIONS THAT WE ARE TELLING YOU AREN'T WORKING - you are literally saying "Of course Cortana can't do X. That's because it is no longer supposed to be doing Z, it is now here to do X. It can do X now, and that's why it can't do X'.
If Cortana can't make bookings, check my calendar, or do any of the other productivity assistant tasks referred to in the article you keep linking to, can you please identify ONE tasks it IS able to do? That way, when we get back to you with a screenshot of it being incapable of that tasks too, maybe we'll get an honest "yeah, we're working on it", instead of having you humiliate yourselves by treating us like fools.
Oh, btw yes, I've already tried reinstalling windows - not on all 6 accounts and 12 computers referred to above, obviously, but I had to reinstall on my work devices for a different reason, and so I've checked that as well.
Widows version: 2004 (May update - some devices personal, some corporate, some education version)
Cortana version: 2.2007.9736.0
All permissions granted (both for Cortana and in privacy settings )
Region: Australia (where Cortana currently has an average review rating of 1 star on the Microsoft store - I suspect you've already passed the point of no recovery in this part of the world, as things seem to be even worse in the rest of south-east Asia than it is here (probably because, other than Singapore, we're the one corner of the SE Asia /ASEAN block that has English as the main language - and Americans are bizarrely ignorant of Singapore for reasons I've never understood). But your high-ups should at least pay attention to it as a sign of where things are likely to go everywhere, if you don't at least acknowledge that there's a problem that needs fixing.
Continue reading...